I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
zippers are such a cool invention
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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