he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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