So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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