it wasn't lemon gatorade
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
