I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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