Me too!
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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