also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
