Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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