How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
