Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize