Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Randomize