Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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