Slut skills are useful in every country.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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