Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
