The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
