Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Randomize
