i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
