Ambien. No doubt about it.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
