if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
