Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
