Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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