every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
