Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
