After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
