he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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