Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
