He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
