so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
