look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
