I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Randomize
