it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
