Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
