I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
