Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
