You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
How external is "for external use only"?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
