I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
