She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
