we're blogging at a bar
i barfeds in our rink
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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