Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
