D3 body, D1 cock
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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