then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
