brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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