You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
