they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
