genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
