There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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