he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
