i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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