he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
