eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
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