i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
there was a trapeze. enough said
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
