It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize