I'm lost and stupid without you.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Randomize
