Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Randomize
