First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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