So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Randomize
