I showed him my bush... on skype.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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