Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
