I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
