and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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