I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize