they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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