3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
She said her name was "party"
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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