He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
