the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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