I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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