we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
