You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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