this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
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