I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
